


Moments

by anonymouschupacabra (accordingtomyresearch)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 12:12:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13974885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/accordingtomyresearch/pseuds/anonymouschupacabra
Summary: “I just want to help.”Lotor says that, and Keith believes him. He’s not sure why. No one else does. No one else feels or hears the genuineness in his voice, or sees the pleading look in his eyes.





	Moments

**Author's Note:**

> i love keitor so much like @Voltron please let them interact and fall in love like im bEGGING

* * *

“I just want to help.”

Lotor says that, and Keith believes him. He’s not sure why. No one else does. No one else feels or hears the genuineness in his voice, or sees the pleading look in his eyes.

Everyone glares at him through the cylindrical cell they’ve housed him in. Keith didn’t even know this castle had a containment cell like this. It was solitary, and visible, and cold. Keith felt like he was watching a fishbowl more than he was watching a person.

The adrenaline of the battle was still coursing through him. Maybe that’s why he was willing to trust Lotor. He’d saved him after all.

But he probably didn’t know that. The paladins didn’t even know that.

“I believe him,” Keith said quietly as they all clamored into the elevator, leaving Lotor alone in his cell.

The looks he received could melt glass. Everyone narrowed their eyes and furrowed their brows, a few shook their heads in disbelief. That might have been enough to quell him before, but not this time. No this time his words, now said aloud, rung true in his ears.

He trusted him.

 

“Zarkon wants to trade him for Sam Holt.”

The idea is so preposterous to Keith he almost doesn’t believe what he’s hearing. Luckily he didn’t have to speak.

“It sounds like a trap,” Kolivan answers for him. During these video meetings with the paladins Kolivan always did the talking.

“That’s what Lotor said as well,” Allura said.

Keith felt agreement bubble in his throat. He felt himself nodding before he could stop himself.

“Don’t trust Zarkon to keep his word. If Lotor says he’s going to double cross you, I believe him,” Kolivan said.

The sentiment caught Keith slightly off guard. Even more so the reactions from the paladins. Reluctant nods of agreement and mumblings of what to do next surprised Keith.

When he’d expressed trust in Lotor he received dark looks. But now, a few weeks later, the same idea is met with agreement. Keith was shocked.

 

“Then you’ll die with them.”

It’s so dismissive, so final. Keith had heard things like this before, he’d disobeyed orders before. The Blade of Marmora was like that; the mission was everything, survival secondary. And he could understand but…

Keith had seen the Black Lion. He’d heard the fighting between the Galra. He knew Shiro and Lotor were up there.

He glanced down at the bomb ticking away in front of him. His fingers flew across the interface, typing in the disarming codes as fast as he could.

“There’s too many. There’s not enough time,” Keith said to himself, distress pulling at his words. There was no way he was going to disarm all the bombs in time. He knew what he had to do.

Sprinting down the hall leading up to the platform, Keith prayed he had enough time. The blast was going to tunnel down this way, incinerating everything in its path. As he ran he could see Lotor and Sendak’s forms fighting against the star filled sky.

He only had a few seconds to think. There wasn’t enough time to call out to Lotor. Keith had to act, and fast.

With a running leap he reached out his arms and grabbed onto Lotor’s body mid leap, crashing into him and sending them tumbling down the stairs just as the first of the explosions went off behind him. The force sent them rolling down the stairs, colliding into the hard ground and sliding a good while away as the rest of the bombs went off, shaking the arena and throwing rubble around them. Disoriented from the fall, Keith struggled to his feet, seeing Lotor rising up next to him with the same amount of trouble.

A small sense of relief rushed through him as he exhaled, knowing he’d saved Lotor and Shiro. Though that relief was short lived as the sounds of explosions and canonfire went off around them. They both looked up watching as the Black Lion flew into the sky to draw the fire away from the arena floor where the hordes of Galra battleships were shooting and at each other.

The Galra took advantage of the chaos.  Fights broke out all around them. It became unclear if the ships were shooting at the Black Lion or at each other or both. Either way, Keith had never seen anything like this.

“This is exactly what I wanted to avoid,” Lotor said with frustration. “I knew they would all turn on each other.”

Keith went to answer, but a great cry interrupted him. From out of the billowing clouds of smoke and debris, Sendak jumped to attack them. Metallic weaponized arm outstretched, he leaped at them both. In just the nick of time, Lotor and Keith jumped out of the way. Instantly they drew their swords, ready to fight.

A strange panic filled Keith’s chest. He’d just saved Lotor and to see him killed now filled him with an emotion he could not understand. The curtain of smoke that separated them was thinning as he watched Sendak and Lotor’s figures become clearer as it dissipated.

He stood, sword at the ready, only to have an attack come from behind. A Galra commander with blade drawn came for him, striking him across the face and disabling his protective mask. Lotor would have to hold his own.

 

“A meeting with the Blade has been requested by the new Emperor Lotor.”

Keith knew what was to come just from the look on Kolivan’s face. He wasn’t an easy man to read but after the past few days he’d had it was clear where this was going.

His reaction to his last mission hadn’t been up to Kolivan’s standards. However meeting your estranged mother wasn’t something that would be easy to deal with for anyone. Keith hadn’t handled it well.

Kolivan always told him to not let his emotions cloud his judgement, but he couldn’t help it. Over two decades of repressed fear and longing and loneliness and wanting and anger and loss came rushing to the surface and he erupted like a volcano.

He screamed. At his mother Krolia. At Kolivan. At anyone near enough to listen.

He broke things. Smashed glass and stuck his blade through tables and punched holes in walls.

He cried. Wept and crumbled onto the floor in a heap. He curled into a ball and dropped into a corner in his barrack and let himself cry.

“I’m taking you with me as an ambassador,” Kolivan said.

Keith had seen this coming. Kolivan just wanted him out of the headquarters, away from his mother, to give him some space and perspective. Keith couldn’t decide if it was kind or cruel.

“Fine,” he said, flat and monotone. He’d let out all the emotions he had, leaving him feeling hollow and empty.

They left almost immediately. Keith hadn’t spoken to his mother since his outburst and he didn’t plan to. He saw her out of the corner of his eyes, standing in the pod bay as he and Kolivan climbed into a ship and flew off towards the Galra headquarters ship.  

Their ride was silent. Kolivan never made meaningless conversation and Keith was glad for it. He knew he’d dissapointed Kolivan—or at least he thought so. Outbursts and crying and screaming, those were such human reactions that he knew that Kolivan couldn’t understand. No matter how Galra Keith tried to be, he’d always be human too.

Galra headquarters was too big for Keith’s taste. There were too many guards and too many sentries walking around for him to feel comfortable. It felt like being somewhere he wasn’t supposed to be.

And the meeting of the ambassadors was as painful as Keith had imagined. He had no interest in bureaucratic talks and peace treaties and politics. Kolivan knew this and he brought him anyway. Even seeing his friends the paladins wasn’t enough to lift him from his sour mood. They seemed to sense that and they left him alone. Keith sat at the table, silently watching, barely listening, waiting for discussions to end so he could return to the Blade’s base and he could crawl into his bed for a few well deserved hours of rest.

But no such luck came. Hours dragged on as Kolivan stayed to discuss point after point with the fellow ambassadors leaving Keith to sulk off, in search of some other distraction. He decided to roam the ship, explore the halls and inner workings of what was once the enemy ship.

He found himself walking and losing himself in the labyrinthian halls. Keith explored room after room, searching for nothing in particular. After a good long while he found himself back in the greeting hall, now devoid of anyone expect a few sentries standing guard at either end.

Keith took a few steps in when he was startled by the sound of someone taking very fast and deliberate steps into the room. Hiding behind a pillar, Keith watched as Lotor entered the hall, and quickly closing the grand doors hard behind him. Letting out a heavy sigh, Lotor sagged against the doors, taking a few small breaths.

Not wanting to startle him, Keith cleared his throat as he stepped forward and into the light. Instantly Lotor’s demeanour changed. He stood up straight, brushing his armor off and looking as if he hadn’t just been trying to catch his breath.

“I apologize, I didn’t see you there,” Lotor said, his voice layered with a false composure.

“It’s fine,” Keith said quickly. “

They stared at each other for a moment before both looking away. There was a long pause as neither of them spoke.

“I…” Lotor began hesitantly. “I never did get to thank you.”

Keith blinked at him confused. “For what?”

Lotor furrowed his brow at him for a moment. “For saving my life.”

“Oh.” Keith looked down a his hands that were clasped together in front of him. He wrung his wrists, feeling awkward. “Well, we’re even now.”

“I beg your pardon?” Lotor said.

Keith swallowed. “When you came in and saved everyone a while back. I… I was headed straight for that ship. I was probably gonna… you know… die.”

Lotor was silent for a moment. “I had no idea.”

“I know,” Keith answered quickly. He looked up at Lotor to see he looked genuinely surprised. “But still, you saved my life. So now we’re even.”

A quick smile bent Lotor’s lips. “I suppose we are.”

 

“He specifically requested you.”

That caught Keith by surprise. He wasn’t expecting Lotor to ask for a member of the Blade to come with him on his tour through his new empire, and he certainly hadn’t expected to be hand chosen for said occasion. Keith didn't think Lotor even remembered him, let alone wanted him for something as important as this.

“What for?” he asked.

Allura looked at him like she’d given the matter some thought herself and had an answer prepared. “You’re human. And Galra. You’re a member of the Blade and a former Paladin. You’re the perfect image of what this new empire of peace could be. What it should be.”

That felt insincere to Keith. “I’m there for PR then.”

“More or less,” Allura shrugged. “That’s not a bad thing though.”

“It’s a waste of my time, send someone else,” Keith frowned. There was a feeling in his gut he couldn’t understand. He didn’t like feeling used but he wasn’t sure if this was it.

“I’m afraid Kolivan already agreed to send you,” Allura said delicately.

A long frustrated sigh escaped from his mouth. “I guess I have no choice then.”

 

“What do you think you’re going to accomplish?”

The question came out harsher than he’d intended but also Keith was frustrated. It’d been weeks of traveling from Galra ruled planet to Galra ruled planet. They were met with either hostility or fear despite how much they tried to emphasize they were interested in peace.

Lotor looked at him blankly. “Peace, of course,” he said.

They were sat at massive dining table in one of the traveling ships they had been using. It had been another day of less than productive talks with local inhabitants of Galra ruled planets. Keith had watched for what seemed like the millionth time as Lotor tried to explain his plan of peace and prosperity for the empire and it was responded to with hostile skepticism.

“But it’s not working,” Keith continued, annoyed. “People don’t believe in peace anymore.”

“I do,” Lotor said earnestly. Keith let out a small sigh but said nothing. “I think peace can be spread in the universe,” he looked down at his plate as if the rest of his words were there. “But people don’t want me to be the one who brings it. No matter how much I try.”

Keith said nothing. There was nothing he could say. But he felt an odd pang of protectiveness for Lotor—something about the sincerity in his voice really struck him.

 

“Perhaps I _should_ step down.”

Lotor’s voice was low, broken, defeated. Months of trying, still struggling to get others to see that he wasn’t pushing his father’s vision but a new order of peace. Desperately trying to bring the empire together through peace undermined by rouge Galra commanders seeking to claim power for their own.

The were fresh out of a battle with a particularly aggressive Galra commander who had been seeking to take power from Lotor since he first won the Kral Zera. It had been an awful fight. The Galra commander had struck while Lotor was speaking to an assembly of civilians on a rather defenseless planet. Despite having hundreds of soldiers on his side, Lotor threw himself in the fight for defense of the planet. And Keith was always right alongside him.

“Why would you say that?” Keith asked. They were in the infirmary back on Lotor’s ship. Both of them received minor wounds but Lotor had a large gash across his cheek that he’d gotten from the traitorous commander before he ended him for good.

Lotor stared blankly into nothing in front of him. He was sat on a medical bed, legs dangling off the side as Keith delicately cleaned the wound. When they first arrived in the infirmary Keith had sent the medical personale away, seeing the look on Lotor’s face. After all this time he’d learned to read him better than anyone and he knew when Lotor needed to be away from his subjects and just be himself.

“I’m not meant to rule. I’m not meant to bring peace,” Lotor said thickly staring out vacantly.

Keith silently continued to treat his gash on his cheek. “Perhaps I should just give up.”

“Ok,” Keith said with a small shrug.

Lotor turned to him, looking at him with a confused stare. “What?”

“Ok,” Keith repeated. “If that’s really what you want, then give up.”

“I…” He furrowed his brow, “I don’t understand. You want me to give it all up?”

“I’m saying that if that’s what you want then do it,” Keith said bandaging Lotor’s wound. “But if there’s still part of you that thinks you can still make a difference, that you’re capable of doing this, then that’s what you should do.” He paused. “I believe in you,” he added quietly.

Lotor sent him surprised looked but said nothing.

 

“I never knew her, but I knew of her.”

Lotor was looking down at the spread of lab note displays all across the floor and table of his study. It had been a long day of traveling, and they found themselves where they had taken to spending long periods of travel with nothing to do: in Lotor’s study, going through his work.

Keith had never studied ancient civilizations before, he never saw the appeal. But seeing Lotor interested in understanding and learning every aspect of life from societies destroyed by his power seeking father, Keith began to see why he found it so interesting.

He’d let Lotor explain for hours on end about ancient technologies and weaponry and architecture and life and food and culture and anything and everything he had information on. And he actually found he liked listening to Lotor speak, talking to him about alien civilizations he’d never heard of before, teaching him about the universe.

And, like most nights when they came to the quiet safety of Lotor’s study, their conversation turned to Altea.

Lotor always had a small, wistful look on his face when he spoke of his lost culture. Especially when he talked about his mother. And today was no different.

“I’ve tried to learn as much as I can about her, and Altea based on her notes and her studies,” Lotor continued scrolling through a data log. “But still, I wish I could have known her.”

Things Keith never liked to talk about gathered in his throat and came spilling out his mouth before he could stop himself. “I never knew my mom either,” Keith said after a moment. Lotor’s eyes looked up a him from across the table. “I grew up without her, and my dad died when I was young.”

Lotor paused his motions on the screen. “I wasn’t aware.”

“I don’t talk about it much,” Keith said with a half shrug.

He blinked a few times, as if processing the weight of the importance of the information he’d been given. “Thank you for telling me.”

Keith nodded. He wasn’t sure why, but he felt like he if could tell anyone and they could understand, that person would be Lotor. Keith felt a surge of need to tell him about what had happened to him. If only to just get it off his chest. Put it out into the universe with his words and make it real. He felt like Lotor could understand that compulsion.

“I met her,” Keith said thickly after a moment. Lotor’s eyes grew wide but he said nothing. “My mom, I mean. I met her.”

Lotor let out a breath Keith hadn’t realized he’d ben holding. “When? Where? How?”

“A while ago,” Keith said putting his head down on his folded arms, resting his chin and looking up at Lotor. “I met her on a mission. Turns out she’d been working for the Blade of Marmora this whole time.”

Keith felt emotion gather in his throat. Perhaps he hadn’t been as ready to talk about it as he thought he might have been. But either way, it was sort of relieving to say it out loud to someone. Only if to have someone else in the universe know.

Lotor stared at him, his face a mix of unreadable emotions. After a moment, he stood up abruptly from the table, legs wobbly, and took a few steps away. His back turned to Keith, he raised his hand, running his fingers through his hair.

Keith felt weirdly small, like he’d done the wrong thing. He stopped talking and looked down at the table, biting his lip and scratching a mark on the surface with his nail. Trying to ignore the heavy feeling settling on his shoulders that he’d over stepped.

“I’m sorry,” Keith after a minute of silence. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

He thought Lotor had perhaps left before he heard a sniffle and the sound of Lotor rubbing his face.

“It’s fine,” Lotor said, his voice hoarse and distant. He turned around and Keith could see the redness around his eyes, the clear tracks down his cheeks. “I’m… I’m glad you found her.”

Keith looked up at him. Lotor had gone back to scrolling through the data log, fervently concentrating. He looked so sad especially because he was trying so hard not to appear so. Keith felt awful, like he’d rubbed it in Lotor’s face that he’d done the one thing that Lotor had been trying desperately to do for thousands of years.

 

“What’s going to happen after you establish peace?”

Keith watched as his words sunk into Lotor’s mind. They were both exhausted and sweaty, sitting on the floor of a training deck with their backs against the wall taking a brief break from their sparring.

For the most part these training sessions were done in relative silence, only ever really talking to give direction or a compliment. But now, as things in their efforts to spread peace and bring a new stable order to the empire and the universe finally began to take hold, Keith had started to wonder: what was going to happen afterwards?

Lotor took a long drink from his bottle, holding the cool side to his forehead. “I’m not sure,” he said with long exhale. “Rule peacefully I suppose. Hopefully anyway.”

Keith nodded, rolling the handle of his blade in his hands.

“Why do you ask?”

Keith glanced up at him. “I don’t know. Maybe… I guess I’m just wondering where people like me will fit in this new universe.”

Lotor looked at him quizzically. “People like you?”

“Yeah, people like me,” Keith continued. Lotor still looked like he didn’t understand. “People in the Blade of Marmora, like me, who don’t really have anywhere else to go. Or… belong.”

He watched as confusion turned into realization, and melted into understanding on Lotor’s face. A small smile bent his lips as he dropped the bottle from his forehead and held it loosely in his hands. “People, like you, like the members of the Blade, like…” he let out a small laugh, “like me, we always… we always find that we belong somewhere. Even if it’s not where we thought we did.”

Keith watched the smile slowly fade from his face as he stayed quiet. It was a simple, lonely sentiment, but somehow, comforting. Even if he didn’t believe it.

 

“I suppose… there’s no reason to keep you here any longer.”  
  
The words were said through a smile but the tone was anything but happy. Keith found it hard to understand what Lotor was saying—or more, why he was saying it. He stared up at Lotor, confusion marking his face.

They’d just come back from another successful meeting with a planet leader. For a while now the tone of doubt and suspicion had begun to fade as trust and peace filled its place. People trusted Lotor to provide peace for the empire and they welcomed his new rule with open minds.

Keith had seen a change in Lotor since the tide had changed. No longer was he full of self doubt and hesitation, he was confident and proud of the work that he’d done to better the empire. It changed the way he acted toward planet leaders and the coalition and his own Galra subjects. Lotor, who had been apprehensive about taking the reins from his father, seemed to be thriving in his new position.

Which only made his comment to Keith hurt all the more.

“No reason to keep me here?” Keith said. He knew what the words meant independently, but all together he didn’t understand what Lotor was implying.

“Well things are going well, and people have faith in the empire again, and resistance to my new more peaceful rule from within the Galra people is quickly diminishing,” Lotor listed off. “So there’s no reason for you to stay. I’m sure you’re itching to get back to the Blade of Marmora.”

“I am.” Keith meant it as a question but it came out flat. His thoughts were sluggish in his mind as he tried to process Lotor’s words.

An emotion flickered across Lotor’s face that Keith couldn’t understand. He felt like he couldn’t understand anything about Lotor in this moment. He felt lost and confused and abandoned in a way, as if Lotor was tossing him aside now that he was done with him. Like he’d served his purpose and now it was time for him to go.

“I… I guess you’re right,” Keith said. The words came out before his brain could make sense of them. “I’ll… I’ll let Kolivan know I’m coming back…”

Lotor nodded and Keith felt a stabbing in his gut.

He thought… he wasn’t sure what he thought but this wasn’t it. It felt wrong and forced and out of his control. Like they were having two conversations simultaneously but Keith was only hearing one.  

 

“There’s no reason in me staying here.”  
  
Keith heard himself say it but he couldn’t feel himself believe it. The words were hollow and void of conviction. His voice, even to his own ears, was flat and dead.

He couldn’t even look at Kolivan in the eye in the screen call. His eyes were cast down at the console in front of him, watching as dust particles floated into the light of the display, disrupting the stream for brief seconds at a time.

Kolivan didn’t answer for a moment, long enough that Keith eventually looked up at him in the screen. He was staring at Keith, head cocked to the side, a curious expression on his face. “Did you want to leave?”

Keith blinked. “There’s no reason for me to stay.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

It was such a probing question. Keith hadn’t thought beyond the surface level of Lotor telling him he needn’t stay on his ship to even consider if he had wanted to leave.

“I…” Keith’s words caught in his throat. Did he want to leave? What was waiting for him back at Marmora headquarters? Was there even a need for the Blade now that peace was being established in the universe again? Was he even needed by the Blade anymore? “I don’t know.”

Kolivan looked at him for a moment before nodding to himself. “I’m sure you can find a good use for yourself there on Lotor’s ship. There’s no need to rush back. It might be good to have you stationed there.” He paused, as if considering the what he was going to say next. “Permanently.”

Keith swallowed. He wasn’t sure why, but it felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

 

“Kolivan tells me you are to be the official Blade of Marmora ambassador to the empire.”

Keith couldn’t help but note the pleased tone to Lotor’s voice. It was confusing but nice. He found that he’d been feeling really nice since speaking with Kolivan.

They were sat in Lotor’s study, where they found they spent a lot of their time together. Before when they would go there just to avoid the disappointment of failure in reuniting the empire but then later it became just a place they went to relax. There in his study they weren’t Emperor Lotor and Blade member Keith, the were just Lotor and Keith. It was nice.

“He wants to station me here on your ship,” Keith said. He dragged his finger along the spines of the books stacked on a shelf of a massive library wall. Most of the titles he couldn’t read, all some foreign alien language he couldn’t understand, but he recognized a lot of them from Lotor’s explanations on cultures.  

“It might be nice having a Blade member here permanently,” Lotor said walking over to him. He reached above him and placed a book back on a shelf. “As a show of commitment to peace and order. So the people of the Empire see this reign is committed to change. ” He looked down at Keith below him.

Keith tilted his head up to look at Lotor hovering above him. “Any Blade member or me?”

The question seemed to take Lotor aback. He bristled slightly, taking a microscopic move back away from Keith. “Well I… I suppose it’s preferable to… um… have you here because we have a… a long standing connection, that I wouldn’t have with another member.”

He looked uncomfortable and Keith eyed him with scrutiny. “Were you trying to get me to go back? You know, before.”

Lotor opened and closed his mouth a few times before answering. “I was merely saying that you had no obligation to stay if you wanted to go. I didn’t want you to believe that I was keeping you or forcing you to stay here.”

“But you’re glad I stayed?” Keith pressed.

The tension seemed to deflate from Lotor’s shoulders. A soft expression made it onto his features as he nodded his head. “Yes,” he said quietly. “I’m glad you stayed.”

  

“What is it even like living here?”

The question was asked in the same tone Lance had asked the same question to people living on planets with wily different plant and animal life and with ecosystems vastly different from those on earth. It amused Keith that Lance was now asking it about the Galra central command ship.

“I’ve been living here for over a year already,” Keith responded with a half smirk. “Since before the empire got put back together.”

“No yeah I know that,” Lance said gesturing vaguely with his hand. He looked around the grand hall they were currently standing in. It was almost completely different from the dark and oppressive feeling it had before. Since Lotor’s arrival the ship reflected the tone of his new empire: peaceful and good. “But like, this is where Zarkon lived and stuff. Does Lotor use his dad’s old room or something?”

“I do not.” Lotor came up behind them, falling into place next to Keith. He placed his hands behind his back, standing with his chest out and his head back. Even though immune to the awe and the intimidation after all this time, Keith could still appreciate how regal he looked. Even if he was peacocking a bit. “His room has been cleared out and repurposed as a sentry repair location.”

“Oh,” Lance said as if he hadn’t been expecting that answer. He gave a vague shrug and took a few steps away, looking around the room as if he was browsing a museum. “This place is so big though,” he continued,his voice sort of distant and faint, lost to the big space. “Bigger than the Castle of Lions. I don’t know if I could could live here. I feel like it’d be lonely.”  

Keith blinked in surprise. He had found the place lonely, when he first arrived. But now, somehow and against all odds, it felt like home. True, he had spent a long year along in the desert and he could enjoy his own company. But he didn’t find the place lonely. He lifted his head to look up at Lotor. He seemed to have a similar expression on his face.

“I’m not lonely,” Lotor said after a moment, just to Keith. Something in his voice sounded like he was trying to convince himself. And that saddened Keith. Part of him, probably the part of himself he didn’t yet even understand, was a bit hurt that Lotor was still trying to convince himself of things.

 

“Are we friends?”

The question is met with surprise. Lotor’s expression read of shock and bewilderment as Keith’s words resonated within him.

But Keith genuinely wanted to know. He isn’t sure what they are. Or even what they used to be. Things feel different now than they did before.They feel different

It had been a little while into their new rhythm. Instead of traveling the universe hoping to pursued planets to join their empire alliance and live in peace, the universe seemed to come to them. Peoples from planets far and wide, some from places Keith’s had never even been, came to Lotor’s ship in hopes to join the new peaceful Galra empire.

Keith had become somewhat of Lotor’s right hand, serving as someone who could help Lotor make decisions and speak on his behalf. He had found himself—though no placement of his own—in an integral spot in the empire. Working alongside the emperor and with the high command.

Yet, the question formed early on when their relationship began to shift when Keith had been placed there indefinitely. Lotor and him had become closer, softer, more intimate. Most meals were taken together, quiet days and nights were spent in Lotor’s study, and during any down time they found that they gravitated towards each other without need of previous plan.

But Keith still wanted to know if what he was feeling was mutual. He felt like they were friends. In an odd and almost totally accidental way, but friends nonetheless.

“I…” Lotor blinked at him as words slowly began to make sense in his mind. “I suppose we are, yes.” As he said it his expression softened, forming a small smile on his lips. “Yes, we’re friends.”

 

“Do you get you lonely?”

Keith’s voice is quiet when he asks, no more than a whisper.

They’re huddled in a small corner of the observatory in the ship, books and maps spread out all around them. Lotor and Keith’s handwriting is all over the charts and papers, lines and arrows drawn supposing where the location of Earth could be on these limited maps.

Lotor’s arms is hung loosely around Keith’s waist. It wasn’t a very new development but it still felt terrifying every time Lotor did it. Like they were standing on the precipice of something important, monumental.

There’s a long pause before Lotor answers. Keith could hear his heart beating and his breath in his ears and the weight of his words settled in his chest as he waited for an answer.

“Sometimes,” Lotor responded. Keith can feel his nose running along the edge of his cheek. They’re so close.

Keith licks his lips instinctively. “What about now?”

“Not right now, no,” Lotor says and Keith feels Lotor’s fingers curl gently around his hip. He lets himself be pulled close. “Do you get lonely?”

“Sometimes,” Keith whispers, afraid to break the quiet they’ve formed around themselves.

“What about now?” Lotor’s voice is in his ear and it sends a warm rush down his body.

“Not right now.”

 

“I love you.”

Lotor says that, and Keith believes him.

The words are said with such sincerity, but Keith can also hear the uncertainty in his voice.

They are facing each other on Lotor’s bed, lying on their sides each with a hand cupped gently over the others cheek. It’s dark and it’s quiet and it’s late. The warmth of their bodies under the soft blanket had been lulling Keith into a peaceful sleep until he heard Lotor’s confession.

His small, whispered, beautiful confession. And instantly Keith knew it was true. Because of course it was. There was nothing proving otherwise. It had always been true.

Keith’s eyes fluttered open and Lotor came into focus in front of him. His face soft and open but nervous. As if he didn’t already know how Keith felt. As if it wasn’t clear.

Moving forward, Keith connected their lips together. He could feel Lotor relax under his touch as they kissed, like they’d done so many times already.

But this kiss, it felt different. Uninhibited and true. Like the last bit of guarding had finally come down and they were exposed and authentic for the first time.

Their lips parted and Keith felt Lotor’s hot sweet breath against his mouth. Feeling the loss of the contact Keith immediately wanted to dive back in, letting himself drown in the ocean of emotions kissing Lotor created.

But he paused, thumbing the sharp line of Lotor’s cheek as he whispered, “I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> yo come scream about keitor with me @actuallylotor


End file.
